Middle school has been such a struggle for Larissa. For two weekends in a row we have had a friend of hers over to our house. She didn't want to leave! The girls got along great. Her mom was excited because her daughter didn't have any friends.
Then came along the group of girls who flat out let it be known that they didn't like Larissa because of her skin color. They offered friendship to Larissa's friend. She had to chose between Larissa or a group of friends. She chose the number of friends over the substance of a real friend. They proceeded to use her to further hurt Larissa. She came home from school every day in tears. Told me that she was crying in class and was told to ignore them. Small things like chips knocked out of her hand, little put downs, little bumps, one day was really bad, non-stop.
Last weekend we decided to work on grace, to really practice grace. We talked a lot about her ex-friend and how she wanted friends so bad that she gave up a good friend just to have a lot of friends. We talked about friendship and we concentrated on the friends that she does have.
She went back to school Monday and wanted to wear grace.
I have to say it was interesting. She said that a lot of people didn't know what it meant. She explained grace to a lot of kids. One girl came up to her and asked her if she was gay. Larissa explained what God's grace is. It is sad when the kids are more versed in gay, homosexuality and trangender issues than what God's grace is.
On Tuesday the group of girls stopped picking on Larissa and moved on to someone else. However, they left her ex-friend behind now that they didn't need her to hurt Larissa. She went to Larissa and asked if she could spend the night at our house again. Larissa told her no, that she forgives her but really doesn't want t friend who is willing to turn on her in such a manner. Willing to be a friend in private but in public putting her down for her skin color.
Then came Thursday. picture day. Larissa came home from school and said that she didn't get to get her picture taken. I found that odd, I have never had that happen to any of my kids so I emailed her main teacher and asked her why. I was very polite because I really didn't know what happened.
Friday morning after I dropped the kids off I noticed that her teacher had responded. Her main teacher is her special education teacher. She said that it was Larissa's fault. That a lot of kids in her class think that she is their homeroom teacher and she isn't and that they called by homeroom teacher names. I was king of surprised because I also thought that she was her homeroom teacher so I asked her who was Larissa's homeroom teacher and where was Larissa when she was called. She responded by telling me that Larissa was in her class when her homeroom teacher was called and that she can get a picture done on make-up day. She never told me who the homeroom teacher was. Hmmm, ok. that email came at 8:30 and I didn't respond after that because I now understood why Larissa didn't get her picture taken. Larissa wasn't the only one in her class who didn't get their picture taken. I considered the subject over and figured that we would now wait for make-up day.
Then at 12:30 I got a call from the school that Larissa was sick. I went to get her and I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't just sick. She gets to the car and starts crying. She said that her teacher talked bad about the entire time she was in class. That she kept going back to her computer to see if I was still "bickering" with her. She went to go talk to teachers in the hallway about me, that everyone in her class thinks that I am mean. Worse to me is she asked all the older kids if they got their picture taken and pointed Larissa out that she didn't and how I was bickering with her over it. This caused all the other kids to look at her and make some comments.
I was furious, after we finally got past the bullies, the teacher becomes one. Larissa did not know that I had emailed her. I did all the emailing after I had dropped the kids off. However, she knew what was going on. I was also shocked. I reread my emails and in no way did I ever attack her. I didn't even blame her because she hadn't made sure that all her students understood who their homeroom teacher was and didn't bother to send them out when they were in her class. I emailed her teacher and told her that I picked up a crying Larissa because of things that she had said in her class. She responded that she didn't say anything. I also talked to the principal for a few moments. She thought I was upset aboutt he pictures and I told her no, it was comments that were said about me and our emails in class. She is going to talk with the teacher on Monday. I honestly believe that it will come down to the teacher and Larissa's word. I believe Larissa, she had too much knowledge about the emails. I imagine that the school will side with the teacher. Larissa has asked to be homeschooled. Her teacher is the only special ed teacher for what Larissa needs.
Life is never simple around here.
Grace according to Larissa