Friday, November 19, 2010

Foster Care

Yesterday our foster children had visitation. They visit with their parents and other siblings one hour every other week. We also got confirmation that they anticipate that the kids will go home on their court date in December. The parents have worked their plan.
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Normally this would make me happy. It is unusual for us to actually see parents work their plan. However, this is a strange case. The parents have worked their plan but the initial reason for the kids coming into care has not been resolved. I expect that they will be in care again.
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There are 4 siblings. Three of them have no attachments.......to anyone. The baby has an attachment....to us. It is hard. You want to help them to have attachments but then wonder what the separation will be like for them, especially the babies.
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The baby cried yesterday when the social worker took her away for visitation. It gave me flashbacks to when they had to peel a screaming, crying Larissa off my neck for her visitation. Sigh, the baby had tears rolling down her chubby cheeks. What will it be like for her to return to a home where none of the kids have developed attachments?
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I forgot to warn Anthony and Larissa that the kids would be at visitation when they got home. They walked in the door and asked if the kids were gone. I assured them that I would let them know when the kids were going home. Sometimes I wonder if kids coming and going is actually bad for Anthony and Larissa. They seem to understand the concept. However, lately I have been thinking of doing just one more adoption and then not fostering anymore.
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I just don't know. Some days being a foster parent is really hard. Some days I would love to just sleep in, be lazy, go to the movies without coordinating child care. However, I really feel that good foster homes are needed. I feel that we meet the need.
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It would be easier to say, let someone else do it.
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But, the things we would have missed out on.....
In the end we need to ask, why not me?

4 comments:

  1. great post. i hate going to visits. sending kids to visits. and POST visits...we need more people like you.

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  2. What bothers me is that our foster babies will return back the the madness they came from.

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  3. Lately our foster daughter has been crying at her visits the whole time. Its hard!

    I wonder a lot about the effect that contuning to foster will have on William in the long run. How do you tell one child that they will never ever leave, that this is their forever home and then have another that does leave. Its not easy!

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  4. That has been my concern, especially with Larissa since she is younger. I tell her that I am her forever mommy and she is my forever baby, to the foster kids I am their foster mommy. It is hard especially since I see her struggling right now and I am not sure of the source. I really think it is something at school.

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