My mom has been on my mind a lot lately. My mom is slowly declining. I know that she will not get any better. I am well aware of her health and condition. I am at the point where I am not sure what to do because I don't know what the impact will be on Benjamin. He has a very close relationship with my mom. He goes into her room and helps to take care of her. They very much love each other.
After her last hospital visit her doctor wanted to put her in hospice care so that she didn't have to go through that experience again. The pain and procedures are not what she would want. I ended up not putting her in hospice because she would lose her caregiver.
Her doctor said that if she got sick again to not call an ambulance but to contact her to put her in hospice care. She said she would do a house visit to do that. However, I worry that my kids would perceive that as me not taking care of my mom. Would they think I am killing her?
My expectation has been that she would stay home until she passed away. Now that Benjamin is older he goes into her room without me being aware of it. What if she passes and he goes in and is the one that finds that. I think he would believe that she is sleeping. How would my other kids react to grandma dying in the house?
Am I overthinking this? Will I be causing extra hurt to my kids? Anyone else deal with this?