Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Status of Foster Kids

We currently have three foster kids. We had two for a bit and then DSS started calling us for placements. After several call for older kids coming from possible sex abuse homes I told them that because of the children in our home we could only take a child under the age of one. The next day they called me to tell me that they had a child under the age of one could we take him. I had to laugh, his birthday was a few days away. I laughed and said to bring him.

At 6 months old little man tested positive for cocaine and came into care. We are his fourth placement. He is so confused. He also doesn't like to sleep. The first few nights I spent a lot of time rocking him. He wouldn't nap at all and looked terrible. Babies need sleep! Eventually he started falling asleep right after eating in his high chair. If you moved him he woke up so we just let him sleep, he needed it so bad. We got sidetracked by the flu and other viruses but we are now on track. He will take one nap a day and sleep through the night. He is settling in and we are working on attachment.

We still have Itty, he is 10 months old now and at a very healthy weight. He is well attached and developmentally on target. They are still working on sending him out of state. These ICPC's take entirely too long. They started this the first of November! We have been told that he will be moved in April or May. We will surely miss him, he is so content where he is. I was asking myself what bothers me about his case so much and I finally realized that it is the lack of visitation, the lack of gifts at Christmas, he is growing so fast and we are the only ones who see it. No one has made a road trip to see him, no one sent him anything at Christmas. If their dates are true, he will celebrate his first birthday here, will they notice?

We also have little miss. She will be turning 3 Next month but is so much younger in so many ways. We have a friend who comes in our home every week to help with speech. She has an appointment the end of March to address an eye issue. She has an appointment to get evaluated at the school right after she turns three. She has developed some allergies and we are addressing that. The blood work says milk, I say peanuts. That is ongoing. Our biggest concern is her lack of attachment. I have been doing a lot of carrying and working on attachment. She has had one visit with her mom who moved out of state. It was terrible, she was so confused. It is very apparent that she has no attachment with her. Actually we came to realize that she thinks that her social worker is her mom! The social worker has stopped picking her up and turns her to me. She is a work in progress.

We accepted the 1 year old because we thought that Itty was leaving soon. Silly us! I do think that he will move early summer and we won't take another placement. I think that the other two need our attention and need to learn to attach.

Taking kids from other counties makes life crazy. We have three different social workers, three different GAL's, one licensing worker and three different visitation schedules. Well, actually only one kid has regular visits.

Tomorrow, changes coming up...

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